This little blog of mine is called Serious Joshing for a reason. I spent quite a bit of time thinking about the title, and, while it lacks any particular focus as a proper blog might, I decided on the name because it so perfectly fits who I am.
You might have noticed that when I post something silly I end with "Just Joshing, Josh," and when I post something serious I end with "Seriously Yours, Josh." This is because I am a sort of contradiction.
I am very serious. Always have been. I have a picture of my toddler self pointing importantly at something while sitting in my grandpa's arms. My mother always tells me that when I was young that I frowned in concentration so much that a little "v" would appear in between my eyes. Whenever this happened she would take her finger and rub me there until I smiled or laughed it away. As I've grown up I've always tried to understand things, take other people seriously and do my work with the greatest of care. I was called an overachiever in class, and I'm a perfectionist by nature. I have the misfortune of being easily duped by others because I take them seriously when I shouldn't, and often times I find myself on the outskirts of a group of people studying them rather than joining the conversation.
But on the other hand, I am very dramatic and love being silly. I wear an over-shirt because it feels like a cape to me when it flows out behind me in the wind. I like to run fast, because it feels epic. I enjoy making grand entrances, like throwing open a door and standing there with a serious look on my face. When someone says something surprising I chime in "dun-dun-DUHHHNNNNNN!" I am, at this moment, wearing a trench coat because I like it. I also have a rather ridiculous guilty pleasure: I like to watch animated superhero movies and t.v. shows, even if they aren't very good. I like country and pop, but a lot of Disney music more amazing to me and I prefer it more. In fact, I like to dance with my little brother to Disney songs and did so but a moment ago to Under The Sea, which I oddly know all the words to. I often wax poetic and use my words in such a fashion as is more appropriate to the languages of the past centuries. I am, indubitably, dramatic, ridiculous, and silly.
I have naturally struggled to balance these two parts of myself in my daily life, and have done so in a variety of ways. I've performed in several plays, for one thing, because my seriousness allows me the discipline to memorize lines, but the drama to perform. I intend to be a writer, which means I need to have a great grasp on serious topics, yet the lightness to communicate in a humorous manner through writing. I once came up with a logical reason for silliness. I draw, which allows me to be artistic (silly) and insert various symbols and themes into my art (serious).
Heck, now that I think about it, maybe I'm making too big a deal out of this whole thing, which is quite probably totally normal to everyone! Yet, I am so serious I have taken the time to recognize this contradiction in nature, and then so dramatic that I insist on making a big deal out of it and presenting it to the world! Perhaps this is all supremely normal and I am merely exaggerating it's normality! Well, if so then I like the idea. There is no such thing as normal in this life, and pointing that out to other people seems like a fine idea.
Maybe that's a good theme for this blog...
Well, whether or not this is normal or crazy, it is an integral part of who I am that I have been thinking about recently. And, to be honest, I think I might finally be getting the hang of being the sort of person whose name means both "to jest or joke" and is derived from a leader who lead his people into the promised land.
Seriously Joshing (since this has been both a serious and silly post),
Josh
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